She's in lingerie, he's in jeans. You see it at every erotic party, and it's a shame. Not because it's forbidden (at fetish parties it is), but because it leaves out half the fun. Kinky clothing for men isn't a costume party. It's a few simple rules and five outfits that always work.
The first rule: fitted
Anything you wear to an erotic party or swingers club should be fitted. Baggy boxers, a loose T-shirt or loose trousers say "I'm here by accident". Fitted says "I chose this". That applies to men of every build: a tight black brief with a harness looks better than loose boxers, whatever your belly looks like.
The second rule: one deliberate element
You don't need to be head to toe in leather. One piece that's clearly kinky (a harness, a mesh top, a leather-look pair of trousers) is enough to make the rest work. Two is better. Three turns it into a costume.
Five outfits for him
1. Leather-look trousers, bare chest, harness. The classic for any party. Works at swingers clubs and counts as fetish at fetish parties. Add a mask if you want to stay anonymous.
2. Mesh top with a fitted boxer or short. Transparent on top, snug underneath. Dressed enough for the bar, bare enough for the dance floor.
3. Wetlook jumpsuit. Glossy, fitted, one piece. The easiest way to meet the dress code at a fetish party.
4. Sheer jumpsuit or fishnet bodysuit. Mesh from top to toe. Often worn at parties with a male crowd, such as Darklands and La Démence. Wear a harness over it for more shape.
5. Swingers club outfit: open-bum briefs and an open shirt. For the club where you get changed on the spot. Leather-look briefs with an open back or a satin boxer, and a shirt that stays open.
From our shop
- Long leather trousers – the basis
- Chain chest harness – over a bare chest
- Sheer short top with long sleeves – mesh that feels dressed
- Clubwear boxer short – fitted and made for the club
From our shop
- Wetlook jumpsuit short sleeves – fetish in one piece
- Sheer jumpsuit for men – mesh from top to toe
- PU leather brief with open bum – for the swingers club
- Elastic harness set – over mesh or bare skin
Parties with a male crowd
Darklands (Antwerp) and La Démence (Brussels) draw mostly men and have their own dress code culture: leather, rubber, harnesses, sportswear fetish, uniforms and lots of bare skin. Leather trousers with a harness or a rubber-look jumpsuit are the basics there. You won't get into Darklands in jeans and a shirt. For more parties and what they ask of you, read the overview of erotic parties in the Netherlands and Belgium.
From our shop
- Men's leather jumpsuit – leather that counts
- 100% latex mask, open eyes and mouth – anonymous and fetish
- Latex wetlook short open crotch – shine from below
Men's lingerie: for at home too
Kinky clothing for men isn't just for parties. A satin boxer, a sheer brief or a harness under your everyday clothes turns an ordinary evening into something else. She knows, nobody else sees. That's exactly the point.
Size and fit
- Mesh, fishnet and wetlook stretch, so when you're between two sizes, choose the smaller one.
- Leather-look (PU) hardly stretches: choose the larger size, especially for trousers.
- Harnesses are adjustable with buckles; adjust them at home, not in the club.
- Try everything on at home and move in it. A harness that slips or trousers that cut in you'll notice after an hour.
Shoes and accessories
Black boots or smart black shoes, never sneakers. Being barefoot in a swingers club is normal. Accessories: a mask, a collar, leather-look gloves. One is enough. For how a harness should fit, read wearing a bondage harness.
Read also
Frequently asked questions
What is men's lingerie?
Erotic underwear and clothing for men: fitted briefs and boxers in satin, mesh or leather-look, sheer tops, harnesses, jumpsuits and wetlook. The difference from regular underwear is that it's deliberately sexy or kinky.
What do men wear to a swingers club?
A fitted satin boxer or brief, mesh or leather-look, with an open shirt or a bare chest. At themed parties, leather-look trousers with a harness. You get changed in the club; what you wear on the street doesn't matter.
What do men wear to a fetish party like Darklands?
Proper fetish clothing: leather or leather-look, rubber or wetlook, a harness, a uniform or mesh with accessories. You won't get in wearing jeans and a shirt. Check the current dress code on the party's website.
Is a harness something for men?
Yes. A chest harness over a bare chest or over a mesh top is the most worn kinky outfit for men at parties. Harnesses are adjustable and fit every build.
Which size should I choose for kinky clothing for men?
Mesh, fishnet and wetlook stretch, so when you're between two sizes, choose the smaller one. Leather-look hardly stretches: choose the larger one. Adjust harnesses at home using the buckles.
View all clothing and lingerie for him
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